My Dad's Parkinson's Medication Was Working. So Why Was He Losing His Words And Telling Me Every Day He Was A Burden?
"I would rather have the disease than watch it."
That's what a woman said at my local Parkinson's caregiver group. I've never forgotten it.
I didn't say anything back. I just stared at my coffee because if I looked up I was going to cry in front of strangers.
My dad's medication was doing what it was supposed to do. His neurologist was happy. On paper, things were stable.
But he kept losing his words mid-sentence. He'd start talking and then just... stop. Look at me. And I could see it in his face, he knew it happened. He just couldn't do anything about it.
And then the thing that broke me every time.
He started telling me he was a burden. Not once. Not twice. Every single day.
I kept bringing it up at his appointments. Every time I got the same answer:
"That's just the disease."
I believed that for two years. I shouldn't have.
After The Meeting
I started going to that group every week. Not because it fixed anything. Because it was the only room where nobody looked at me like I was exaggerating.
A few weeks in, I stayed after to help stack the chairs. The woman who had said that line, the one I'd never forgotten, was still there. Her name was Carol. She was still caring for her husband, had been for four years.
I asked her how she was doing. Really doing.
She paused for a second and said something I wasn't expecting.
"Honestly? Better than I was six months ago. Not because anything with the disease changed. But because we finally figured out what the disease was actually doing to him that nobody was talking about."
I pulled up a chair.
What Carol Told Me
She started by asking me a question.
"Do you know why the medication works?"
I gave her the answer I'd learned from Google. Something about dopamine. The brain stops making enough of it. The medication replaces it. That's why the tremors get better.
She nodded.
"That part's right. But here's what nobody tells you after that."
She explained it like this.
Parkinson's damages the brain cells that produce dopamine. That's the part everyone knows. But those same brain cells also need enormous amounts of energy just to keep doing their job. More energy than almost any other cells in the body.
And Parkinson's doesn't just damage them. It breaks their ability to produce energy first.
So even when the medication is working perfectly. Even when the tremors are under control. The brain is still running desperately low on fuel every single afternoon. There is nothing in the standard treatment designed to fix that.
I sat with that for a second.
"So the medication isn't failing," I said.
"No," she said. "It's doing exactly what it's designed to do. It's just not designed to do this part."
More than half of all people with Parkinson's say fatigue, not tremors, not stiffness, is their single most disabling symptom. Most neurologists have no answer for it beyond adjusting expectations.
When Carol said that I felt two things at the same time. Relief that I hadn't been imagining things. And anger that nobody had told us this in six years.
The Part Where I Almost Stopped Listening
Carol told me she'd come across something called shilajit.
A natural substance used in traditional medicine for thousands of years. Long before any of our current medications existed.
I'll be honest. I almost tuned out right there.
I'd been down that road before. Every Facebook ad targeting Parkinson's caregivers has some ancient remedy that's going to change everything. I'd wasted enough money and enough hope on things that did absolutely nothing.
I told her that.
She didn't flinch.
"I said the exact same thing," she said. "Just hear me out on why this is actually different."
Why This Is Different
Most supplements you take never reach the brain.
The brain has its own protective barrier, think of it like a wall, that filters out almost everything from the bloodstream before it gets in. It exists to protect the brain. But it also means that most things people take for brain health never actually get there.
The active compound in shilajit is called fulvic acid. It is one of the very few natural substances that actually crosses that wall and gets directly into the brain.
And once it does, it goes to work on the energy problem. On the cells that are running out of fuel. Studies have shown it can significantly reduce the kind of energy loss happening in the brain cells of people with Parkinson's.
That's not a general energy supplement. That's something that crosses the barrier most things can't cross and specifically addresses the piece of this disease that medication doesn't touch.
I asked Carol how long before she noticed anything with her husband.
She said a few weeks. Nothing dramatic. He wasn't suddenly a different person. The disease didn't reverse. But he started finishing his sentences more. He stayed present through dinner. The afternoons got longer. He stopped saying he was a burden as often.
"I still can't get that time back," she said. "But I'm getting more of him now. And that's everything."
What I Did Next
I went home that night and did what any skeptical person would do.
I researched everything Carol had told me. The energy problem. The brain barrier. Fulvic acid. I wanted to poke holes in it.
I couldn't.
The research on fulvic acid and brain energy is real. The blood brain barrier mechanism is real. The connection between mitochondrial energy failure and Parkinson's fatigue is real and well documented. This wasn't a fringe theory. It was just something nobody in a neurology office had ever brought up.
I still wasn't ready to just buy the first thing I found. I spent another two weeks reading. Looking at ingredients. Checking whether products were third party tested or just making claims on a label.
Most of what I found I put straight in the trash.
Then I found Xara.
Why Xara
A few things made me stop.
First, it wasn't just shilajit. It was shilajit combined with nine other ingredients, CoQ10, Ashwagandha, B12, NAD+, all chosen specifically to work on the same energy problem from different angles. Not a single ingredient hoping for the best. A formula built around a specific mechanism.
Second, it was third party tested. Not just a claim on a website. Actual independent lab testing. For someone who had been burned by supplements before, that mattered.
Third, and this sounds small but it isn't. It's a gummy.
My dad takes eight pills every single morning. The idea of handing him another capsule felt cruel. A gummy is something different. Something he'd actually look forward to. And for anyone with Parkinson's who has trouble swallowing, which is more common than people realize, that's not a small thing.
I ordered it. I didn't tell my dad what I was hoping for. I just gave it to him every morning and watched.
What Happened
*A few photos my mother took of me and my father spending quality time together.
I want to be careful here because I'm not going to tell you it was a miracle. It wasn't. My dad still has Parkinson's. He still has hard days. The disease didn't go anywhere.
But about three weeks in, something shifted.
He made it through dinner one night without losing his train of thought once. He told a full story about something that happened to him years ago, something he hadn't been able to get through in months, and he finished it. He laughed at the end.
I went to the kitchen so he wouldn't see me cry.
The afternoons got better. Not perfect. But better. He started lasting longer before the fog rolled in. He was more present. More himself.
And slowly, almost without me noticing, he stopped saying he was a burden every day.
I don't know if he felt it or if I just seemed less exhausted. Maybe both.
Carol was right. I'm not getting the time back. But I'm getting more of him now. And that's everything.
Who This Is For
I'm not telling you Xara is going to work exactly the same way for your family member. I don't know that. Everyone with Parkinson's is different and I'd never pretend otherwise.
What I can tell you is this.
If the medication is working and something still feels like it's missing. If the fatigue is stealing the best hours of the day. If the fog and the lost words are being written off as just the disease. It might be worth understanding what's actually happening with the brain's energy, and whether anything is being done about it.
That's all Carol did for me. She didn't sell me anything. She just explained something nobody else had bothered to explain.
I'm trying to do the same for you.
— Sarah Mitchell
See If This Could Work For Your Loved One →
What To Know Before You Try It
Xara is not sold in stores. It's only available through their official website.
They offer a 60 day money back guarantee. If you don't notice any difference, you get every dollar back. No questions.
They do run out of stock. Carol actually warned me about this, she had to wait eight weeks once when they sold out and she said those eight weeks were noticeable. If you're thinking about it, don't wait.
Right now they're offering their best price on the two month supply and you get another free, which is what most people start with to give it a real chance.
Check Current Availability & Pricing
Comments
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Sarah Mitchell
I still get messages from people asking if Carol is real. She is. My dad is on his fourth bottle now. Some days are harder than others but the afternoons are different and that's everything to us.
Like · Reply · 👍34 · 8 min
Linda K.
I'll be the skeptic here. My husband has Parkinson's and I've tried four different supplements in the past two years. Every single one was a waste of money. What actually makes this one different from all the garbage out there?
Like · Reply · 👍29 · 1 hr
Donna Harwell
I asked the exact same thing before I ordered. For me it was the blood brain barrier piece. Most supplements never even reach the brain. That's not a marketing claim, you can look it up yourself. That's what made me try it. Six weeks in and my husband is finishing his sentences again. I cried the first time he told me a full story at dinner.
Like · Reply · 👍22 · 52 min
Patricia M.
Linda I was exactly where you are. The thing that got me was that it's not trying to replace the medication. It's doing something the medication was never designed to do. Different problem, different solution. That reframe is what made me actually give it a real shot. Eight weeks in and I don't regret it.
Like · Reply · 👍17 · 44 min
Linda K.
Okay this is actually helpful. The blood brain barrier thing is what got me too when I reread the article. Just ordered the two month supply. Will come back and update.
Like · Reply · 👍14 · 31 min
Carol B.
I'm the Carol in this article. I don't usually comment on things like this but I've gotten so many messages I wanted to say something publicly. Frank still has Parkinson's. I want to be clear about that. But I'm getting more of him back every week and after four years of this disease I didn't think I'd be able to say that.
Like · Reply · 👍61 · 2 hr
James Whitfield
Carol thank you for saying that. My mom has had this for six years and the afternoon fatigue is exactly what you described. Just sent this article to my sister. We've been looking for something like this for a long time.
Like · Reply · 👍19 · 1 hr
Carol B.
James that's exactly why I commented. Nobody told us about the energy piece for years. If this helps one more family understand what's actually happening I'll take it.
Like · Reply · 👍27 · 48 min
Robert D.
Okay I have a real question. My dad has been on Carbidopa Levodopa for four years. Is it safe to take something like this alongside his current medication? That's my only hesitation.
Like · Reply · 👍23 · 1 hr
Margaret T.
Robert we had the same concern. We ran it by his neurologist before starting. She had no issue with it since it's a natural supplement not a drug. She actually said the energy mechanism made sense to her. That gave us the green light.
Like · Reply · 👍18 · 54 min
Robert D.
That's really helpful Margaret. I think that's the step I needed to hear. Going to bring it up at his next appointment.
Like · Reply · 👍9 · 41 min
Susan Albright
My dad kept telling me he didn't want to be a burden. Every single day. That line in the article stopped me cold because I thought I was the only one hearing that. Three months in and he hasn't said it in weeks. I don't know if he feels better or if I just seem less exhausted. Probably both honestly. Either way I'll take it.
Like · Reply · 👍44 · 3 hr
Karen Mills
Susan I had to stop reading when I got to that line too. My mom says it constantly and every time it absolutely crushes me. How long before you noticed a difference with your dad?
Like · Reply · 👍21 · 2 hr
Susan Albright
Karen honestly around week three something shifted. Nothing dramatic. He just seemed more present. Started finishing his thoughts more. Stayed at the dinner table longer. The burden comments slowed down gradually. Give it the full month before you judge it.
Like · Reply · 👍31 · 1 hr
Karen Mills
Just ordered. Thank you Susan. This community is the only place that actually gets it.
Like · Reply · 👍17 · 48 min
Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links and was created in partnership with Xara. The story above reflects one individual's personal experience. Results are not guaranteed and may vary. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. Xara Shilajit is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Always consult your healthcare provider before beginning any new supplement.
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